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Managing a beyond-our-power event

Event X Response = Outcome

This formula is a widely used #coaching tool. It teaches us that when we cannot influence (read alter) certain events in our life then we can influence the outcome or consequences by our response to the event; that is our behavior and attitude. For example, I cannot change the fact that I was born in Cyprus but choosing to go abroad to study was my response to the fact that there was no University in Cyprus at the time. It is in our #humannature to want to #change the course of our lives sometimes passionately and other times desperately. A lot of times we are able to make those decisions that will lead us to where we wanted to be if we could get to choose in the first place. We embark on journeys to go from A to B taking small steps one after the other to reach different Ithacas. We can even be proactive in our decisions and influence certain events either to happen or not to happen. For example, we can #sleep + #exercise + #eatwell + #meditate +

#thinkpositive + #joy = enjoy an absolute #wellbeing.

But what happens when we are too late? What do we do when serious illness or death suddenly, unexpectedly, viciously manifest in our lives affecting us and our loved ones? No matter how passionately or desperately we wish or try, simply and sadly it is not within our power to change certain events. We are human. However, as someone who has had to deal and is still dealing with both of these eventualities for the past three months, I can attest that the way we respond to any situation, regardless of its gravity, does matter and does influence the final outcome and the lives of all affected.

How do we respond to a beyond-our-power event? The only way we can respond is by keeping the everyday regimes, sticking to the healthy habits, going through the motions, getting out of bed, putting on the make-up, going to the gym, not giving up, sharing, talking to friends, caring, not cowering in terror to climb the unsurmountable and not resigning to the inevitability of our fate. Responding like this creates a much-needed sense of control in an otherwise uncontrolled situation. Commanding and controlling the #smallsteps enable us to maintain a sense of calm so that we stay positive and effectively care for and support loved ones and our self in the time of absolute need. It creates what I call a positivity loop to continue doing the everyday regime, staying positive, keeping the faith and so on... I admit it is not a seamless process. But it's the only one. #keepwalking, #nothingbutthejourney, #yourresponsematters, #youmatter, #friendsmatter




Nicosia, Cyprus